There was a tight group of women intercessors in my old church who I admired. They seemed so steady even though they had real-life problems. They would declare that they had cast their cares upon the Lord, left their worries upon the altar, that they were anxious for nothing. And then in a prophetic act they’d fling their arms into the air as if throwing their fears onto the Lord’s back. Meanwhile, I was eaten alive by cares and worries. Any prophetic flinging I did boomeranged.
The pastor frequently preached messages warning about the perils of anxiety, that it revealed a lack of faith. I didn’t want anyone to know but I lacked faith big time because I was anxious about money, health, my child, my work, my fragile new relationship with God. Basically, I was one big ball of anxiety. Being informed that God measured my faith by how not-anxious I was shot my anxiety through the roof.
That was years ago and I’ve come a long way into peace. But just the other day while washing dishes, I realized I was grinding my teeth. I was worried about something—don’t remember what now—but as soon as I noticed I was worried I became anxious about being worried. Like I was disappointing God because I was scared.
I set the dish down, dried my hands, and asked the Lord what He thought about being anxious about being anxious. He brought the memory back of the intercessors casting their cares upon Him. And He asked me: “How do you cast your cares upon Me? Do you fling your fears into the air or—?” And He waited for me to think it through.
“I think,” I answered, “that casting my cares means talking it over with You. Is that right? Is it faith to ask for help? What if I don’t believe You’ll help me?”
“Then let’s start there, love,” He said gently. “Why do you think I won’t help you?” And so started another journey with the Lord, the Sherlock Holmes of hidden heart beliefs.
Have you ever tried flinging your cares on the Lord, then beat yourself up because it didn’t relieve your anxiety? You might try an honest talk with Him instead. He’s never once fussed at me for bringing the same fear back seventeen times. Seems like He’d rather hear my shaky honest voice than watch me pretend I’ve got it together.
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6
God bless and keep you,
Susan
